Alright, Vinyl Vagrants, gather ‘round, as we’ve got a classic slab of vinyl for ya, straight from the glitter-bombed gutters of… where’d they say these guys were from, Queens? Yeah, Queens, not exactly the Liverpool of New York, but closer than you think. This is the debut album from KISS. Remember when rock was about, y’know, something? Well, these greasepaint gargoyles were looked at as either a death knell or the glorious resurrection of Rock n’ Roll, and many still haven’t decided which.
This ain’t just classic rock, that’s for sure. This is… well, it’s like somebody took the Stooges’ raw power, Alice Cooper’s theatricality, and a hefty dose of bubblegum pop and threw it all into a blender with a case of cheap beer. The result? A sonic Molotov cocktail that’s either gonna blow your mind or make you wanna crawl back into the womb. Or both!?!?!
The guitars? Forget about Page’s mystical meanderings or Richards’ sleazy swagger. These guys are all about raw, unadulterated riffage. It’s not subtle, it’s not sophisticated, but goddamn, it’s effective. It’s the kind of stuff that makes you wanna pump your fist and bang your head, even if you know you’ll regret it in the morning. Or maybe especially because you’ll regret it in the morning.
And then there’s the vocals. Paul Stanley, the Starchild, belts out these anthems of teenage angst and hormonal overdrive like he’s trying to summon his youth from the depths of his soul. Gene Simmons, the Demon, growls and snarls like he’s gargling razor blades. It’s cartoonish, it’s over the top, but it’s also strangely compelling. It’s like they’re not even trying to be cool, which, ironically, makes them kinda cool. Or maybe just kinda pathetic. I’m still workin’ on it.
The songs themselves? A mixed bag, to be sure. You got your obligatory rock anthems, no power ballads (although there is an instrumental, “Love Theme from KISS”), and a few surprises thrown in for good measure. There’s “Strutter,” a swaggering anthem that’ll have you strutting your stuff down the street like you own the place. Paul Stanley’s vocals are full of attitude, and Ace Frehley’s guitar riffs are sharp as a razor. It’s the perfect introduction to the band’s sound – loud, proud, and in your face. There’s “Deuce,” which is pure, unadulterated rock and roll fury. It’s a classic KISS track that’ll have you headbanging till your neck hurts. Then there’s “Cold Gin,” a hard-hitting rocker that’ll have you reaching for your air guitar and shredding along with Ace. Gene Simmons’s vocals are menacing, and the rhythm section of Peter Criss and Paul Stanley is tight as a drum. And then there’s “Black Diamond,” which starts off all acoustic and moody before exploding into a full-blown rock and roll inferno. It’s like the Zep, but without the pretension. Or maybe with a different kind of pretension. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Look, this ain’t gonna change the world. It ain’t gonna make you question the meaning of life. But it will make you wanna crank up the volume and let your inner teenager run wild. And in a world that’s increasingly obsessed with being serious and sophisticated, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe, just maybe, KISS is exactly the kind of mindless, over-the-top rock and roll we’ve always needed. If time has proven anything, they’re not just a bunch of clowns in makeup. The album isn’t without its flaws. The production is a bit rough around the edges, and some of the songs could have used a bit more polish. But that’s part of what makes it so great. It’s a raw and honest record that captures the band’s energy and spirit perfectly.
So, what’s the final verdict? KISS’s debut album is a must-have for any fan of rock and roll. It’s a classic record that’ll have you coming back for more. If you’re looking for a loud, proud, and in-your-face rock and roll experience, look no further than KISS. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go put on some glitter and crank this sucker up to eleven. Don’t even judge me!
